Healthblog: 47lbs down

I’ve been on this weight loss journey on and off since May 2017, though it would be fair to say I’ve been more off than on.  Losing weight is simple but not easy, doing what you have to do can be a pain.  Weighing everything gets tedious, sometimes not thinking about what you’re going to eat is more attractive than planning it out.  Meal prepping and planning can take a lot of work.  And losing 1lb a week when you have quite a lot to go can just make your goal feel soooo faaar awaaay.  So yeah, I’ve fallen off the wagon a few times.

Once I came out of the clusterf*ck of the past few months I got back on it.  Dusted off the ol’ food scale, put my food down and got back to it.  I think where I failed the past few times to stay on top of things is just the lack of discipline, and that’s a hard thing to build because it seems there’s no real way to say how to do it.  It’s almost like you just have to be at that point mentally where you can push yourself at it and repeat it over and over until it’s just habit.  It’s just what you do.  I feel like I’m finally at that point now, and the proof is in the pudding; consistent weight loss that has brought me down to a total of 47lbs lost since I started in 2017.  I’ve been maintaining anywhere between 3-5lbs a month which has been fantastic and if I can keep it up I can get pretty damn close to goal by the end of the year.  And that’s pretty exciting.

-artist unknown

On the Upswing

For the first time in, well geez quite a number of months methinks, that I feel I can actually possibly breathe a sigh of relief.  Finally.  Struggling really wears you down and you really don’t see how much that actually effects you, truly, until you start to come out of it and can see what you can do again.

I’m not going to get into particulars, one because that’s a privacy I prefer to maintain and two it doesn’t matter at this point anyway.  But I will say it’s probably the lowest I’ve ever been ever and I was honestly preparing for the worst.  And I am insanely grateful that the worst didn’t happen.  I literally lived that saying ‘good things fall apart so better things can fall together’ especially the last couple of months.  Good things definitely fell apart – but better things are certainly falling together now.  And boy did I learn a few things along the way.

I’m not out of the woods yet, though I can certainly see the edge so to speak.  There are a few commitments that I have to stick to which is fine.  I can manage them.  Now I’m in the process of putting my life back together, except better.  Things of which I actually plan to blog about in the coming days and weeks.  It’s going to be a complete life overhaul and am definitely going to take steps to make sure nothing like this ever happens again.

If I had to share anything about this experience, it’s this: keep fighting.  Even when the odds are completely against you.  Even when you’re tired.  When you’re stressed.  When you feel like there’s no strength left.  Fight anyway.  It’s never over.